Ever smashed a plate in front of your husband to make a f*cking point about washing the dishes?

Screamed at your kids in the middle of the street to the point that your neighbours came outside to gawk?

If you've snapped at someone you love today, or yesterday, or enough times recently that you have started to wonder what is happening to you...we hear you. The weirdly specific examples above weren't hypothetical - they were ours.

Which is why we invited psychotherapist and best-selling author Anna Mathur on the show to ask: why are we like this?

Here is something worth knowing: what you are experiencing is not a personality flaw, and it is not evidence that you are failing at motherhood, your marriage, or your life.

In this decade, our bodies are changing in ways that genuinely lower our threshold for anger — and a lifetime of being told that good women do not get angry has left most of us with nowhere to put it.

So it comes out sideways, at the people we love most.

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​Anna Mathur, psychotherapist and author of the new book How to Stop Snapping at the People You Love, quickly drew a distinction most of us have never made: anger and rage are not the same thing.

Anger, she says, is the knock on the door — a healthy, necessary signal that a boundary has been crossed or a value is at stake. Rage is what happens when we never answer that knock.

It is not a separate emotion: it is the cost of ignoring the first one for long enough.

She also gave us something we have never heard articulated this clearly: not just how to repair after you have snapped, but how to name the actual thing you are going to do differently, out loud, in front of the people who saw you lose it.

→ Listen to our full conversation with Anna Mathur - and buy her book, out now!

One thing to keep you from snapping this weekend

Anna's first piece of advice for anyone who recognises themselves in this rage cycle is deceptively simple: start noticing what you are not saying.

You don't have to fix any massive rifts on a casual Sunday afternoon. Just start noticing what you are not saying. That is where the work actually begins - and it's also where you can start to prevent a full-on, plate-smashing ragefest of a weekend.

With a little more noticing and a lot less swallowing,
​Amanda & Jasmin​

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→ Shop Love, Indus(link)